Farm kids + growth
Friends! We are at the end of May already, but hopefully it’s not too late for a monthly newsletter. The sun and warm weather finally arrived in Oregon earlier this month and our family has delighted in the ease with which we can now be outside working and playing. We’ve been busy planting and tending (and the kids have been riding bikes and building bike jumps all over the farm too).
In between outside work, I have also been wrapping up the final work on my farming and parenting book’s manuscript. I’ll be submitting this draft to the publisher next week! 🎉
Writing about farming and parenting while also actively doing both has been eye-opening for me this spring. Certainly, I’ve always been aware of the unique benefits of our lifestyle choice, but I have a heightened awareness right now as I connect with other farmer and homesteading parents and hear their stories too.
I’m sure it also helps that our kids have very much reached new levels of competency and ability lately. They are now 13 and 10, and quite frankly, they have surpassed me in their skills in many areas. It’s startling, really, to watch my “babies” develop skills at more of an adult-level. They have certainly surpassed me in their unique interests and hobbies (mountain biking and instrument playing), and they are catching up quickly in other areas such as farming, gardening, and general life skills.
I mean, they can both make excellent grilled cheese sandwiches.
I knew that competency was one end goal of all our earlier parenting work, but I still find it surprising. They take a lot of pride in our life, their hobbies, and their abilities, and it clearly motivates them to learn more and stretch themselves further.
I don’t want to spoil too much for the future readers, but that’s one of the big messages throughout the book I am writing. Again and again I heard from people that growing up on a farm — and having the opportunity to explore, play and do real work — is incredibly empowering for young people. Even a child as young as three can help plant bean seeds, watch them grow, harvest, and eat those beans for dinner. In those simple acts, they learn that their actions make a difference in the world, for themselves and the people around them.
Pushing into our abilities and skills isn’t always easy, of course. I homeschool our children, and I have watched them hit challenges and struggle in all areas of life. I have had to remind myself and them that discomfort is part of the growth process, whether we’re learning to read, how to handle a shovel, or play an instrument.
I recently read the excellent book Make It Stick: The Science of Successful Learning by Peter Brown, Henry Roediger and Mark McDaniel, and it affirms over and over again that real learning actually feels pretty hard. That feeling of challenge is what triggers our brains to build the necessary new connections for long-term growth, skill development, and knowledge retention.
For better or for worse, I have chosen to be a life-long learner and I too am familiar with that icky discomfort. I feel it all the time and personally take comfort in the book’s reminder. Dottie and my violin teacher (because, yes, I am trying to learn to play this very difficult instrument later in life) told us last week that our “ears” will progress before our fingers will catch up and find the right intonation. Playing in pitch is one of the challenges of the violin (no frets! very precise movements are needed to find the right note!), but it is a sign of growth when new players can hear that they are slightly out of pitch, because that has to happen before they can adjust their finger positions. What a great metaphor for almost everything we do! As we progress, we will inevitably recognize the areas where we need growth before we can actually make that growth.
And, of course, having teachers and guides can help us see those growth areas too. Which is why in the book I share examples of how farmer-parents provide feedback and help their children grow and build their sense of agency in the world — one of the greatest gifts we can give our children.
I can’t wait to share all of it with you eventually! But, books are Big Projects and there are still many steps left before this one reaches your hands.
Once again, I have more news and projects to share in future newsletters, but for now I hope that you too have been able enjoying the shifting weather and growing warmth of spring. Green abounds everywhere on our farm, and that alone makes me happy. Green is beautiful!
With much gratitude for the growth all around,
Katie